Fujin's Song
by Thegia51
Summary: This a Saifuu on how fujins voice is the way it is. Chapter 3 is up!! Seifer and Fujin deal with their emotions years later......
1. The Song

Fujin's Song:  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Seifer, Fujin or Rajin. And the song in this fic was actually written by Michelle Branch, its called "Leap of Faith". Enjoy!  
  
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"Cold water! Agggh! Dammit! Every time!"  
  
A small, pale, 16-year-old girl stepped out of the dormitory showers, wrapping a towel around her small figure.  
  
"Now I'm gonna be freezing all fucking day!"  
  
Fujin Sanada, the second in command of the Balamb Garden Disciplinary Committee (the DC for short), toweled off her platinum hair, and threw on her pajamas before anyone walked in. The very shy, self conscious girl always woke up early to avoid group showers. Not only did she find the absurd nakedness of other girls walking around the barn-sized bathroom to be revolting, but she hated to hear them talk about her boss, and best friend, Seifer Almasy. "Seifer's so cute!" or "Seifer's so strong" and the even more frequent "OHMIGOD, I can't believe you slept with Seifer!". He was only 17, and he was practically a male whore. After a while Fujin got sick of hearing about his private life, and started setting her alarm clock for 5:00 AM on the dot.  
  
She gathered her soaps into her shower bag, threw on her flip flops, and walked to her dorm. She pressed in the password on her keypad lock: DC POSSE. Seifer and Rajin had the same passwords. Seifer said it was so they could have instant access to each other in case of an emergency, but both Fujin and Rajin knew about Seifer's bad dreams, and how he crawled into Fujins bed like a big baby when he was scared.  
  
"ACCESS GRANTED" Fujins door slid open, allowing her to pass through. She tossed her bag onto her twin sized bed, and sat on the small couch that she'd purchased recently, so she could sleep on it if Seifer decided to show up in the middle of the night.  
  
She stretched her arms out above her head and yawned.  
  
"I need to get a better room" She said aloud, picking up a small blue notepad that was sitting on the night stand next to her. She began to jot a few words down on it, not noticing the door slide open again.  
  
"Finishing up a song just now?" Fujin jumped, and looked over to her friend, who was smiling smugly. "You know, most people would finish their song's before they plan to perform them."  
  
"God Seifer why the hell do you have to sneak around like that, you scared me!" Fujin sat back down, and set the note pad beside her.  
  
"So I take it your not ready for tonight?" Seifer questioned, flopping himself down on her bed.  
  
"No, I'm ready, I was just finishing up a surprise song...." She smiled at him and picked the note pad back up, and continued writing.  
  
Fujin was getting ready for her first real performance. Yes, Fujin was a singer, and song writer and guitarist. She had the voice of an angel, and tonight she was singing in a club, for a major record company, the same one that the late Julia Heartilly had a contract with. Rajin had set it up as a surprise for her. He thought that she'd be happy, but he found out that she was less than thrilled when he got the infamous kick in the shins. She had only performed in a couple of bars, and now she was performing for a record company! She scrambled to create some new material, and just in time, tonight at eight was her big debut.  
  
Seifer smiled back at her, and playfully threw a pillow her way, striking her in the head.  
  
"Surprise song huh? What for?" He laughed at her wet hair, which was sticking up all over the place.  
  
"Well..." She threw the pillow back at him "Actually.... I'm writing it for you." She blushed slightly, and diverted her eyes from him.  
  
"For me?" He smiled slyly and walked towards her. "Can I read it?" He tried to peek over her shoulder, but she quickly hid it against her chest.  
  
"Oh like thats really going to stop me." He tried to grab the notepad, but Fujin jumped up and ran to the other side of the room.  
  
"No! You can't read it! It's not finished yet!" She said nervously, sitting down on the bed.  
  
"Well then why don't you practice singing it for me, you know, so you don't mess up....or whatever..." He walked over and sat next to her, placing his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Please?" He said sadly, wrapping his other arm around the front of her, and placing his head against hers, and softly kissing her temple.  
  
They sat in silence for a few seconds, and Fujin finally spoke.  
  
"Yeah, that's definitely not going to work." She laughed, and shrugged his arm off of her shoulders.  
  
"Well you can't blame a guy for trying. So when will I get to hear this famous 'ode to Seifer'?"  
  
He flicked her nose with one of his ashen fingers. And laughed at her as she scowled at him.  
  
"The name is 'Leap of Faith', thank you very much. And if you wanna hear it, you'll have to come tonight." She said, smiling at him, and walking to her dresser to get her clothes.  
  
"Fuu, I've got a date with a really hot chick tonight, I don't know as if I'm going to go to your little show." He said, lying back down on her bed.  
  
"My 'little show'? This could be the most important day of my life. I even wrote a song for you, and you're not going to go?" She looked at him, and then shook her head, stomping off to her mini bathroom, and slamming the door.  
  
"Well, that's just great!" She yelled at him, "Don't come see if I care! I'll just cut the best song from my act, no fucking problem!"  
  
"You don't have to cut the song just because I'm not going!" He yelled back at her, rolling his eyes.  
  
She opened the door swiftly, and glared at him.  
  
"You obviously don't understand!" She said, stomping back out to get her black combat boots, and shoving them on her petite feet. She then stood, and turned her back to him.  
  
"Well your right! I guess I don't get it! Would you mind explaining it to me instead of biting my head off!"  
  
Seifer waited for an answer, but all he heard was a few quiet sniffles. Fujin brought a pale hand to her cheek and wiped away a tear, and tried to banish the others from leaving a wet trail down her face. But to no avail, she let them fall.  
  
"Oh Fuu...Jesus..." He stood up hesitantly, preying that she wouldn't bruise his shins again, and walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but why do you want me to go so bad? Huh?" He nudged her head with his a little. "Don't cry sweetie, I hate seeing you cry" He turned her around and she rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I-I just, wanted you to hear it. It's a song for you Seifer, and if you're not going, than I'm not going to sing it. If you can't hear it than no one else will."  
  
Seifer sighed, and stroked her platinum hair. He loved her so much, but he knew that she didn't have any feelings for him, at least he didn't think she did, so he had recently decided to try and forget about her, but when he saw her crying, he just couldn't resist. He tilted her head so that he was staring into her eyes.  
  
"You look so cute when you cry" He chuckled and smiled as he wiped one of her tears away. She groaned and frowned at him.  
  
"Tell you what, I'll go on my date. But I'll make sure that I get home at 7:30. Even though I won't see the whole show, you can save my song for last, and I'll be there in time to listen to a couple songs before it, okay?" He said, still looking at her, and tucking a strand of platinum hair behind her ear.  
  
"You promise? You'll be there for the whole song?" Fujin's face brightened up.  
  
Seifer took a step backwards and crossed his heat with his index finger. "I promise."  
  
He smiled and stepped back toward her, kissing her forehead.  
  
"Well, I've gotta go, but I'll see you later, okay?"  
  
Fujin nodded her head and smiled at him "Okay!"  
  
"Bye!" Seifer yelled, as he walked out the door. Fujin got her notepad and took out her guitar. 'Seifer's going on a date....' She sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. 'Oh well, at least he'll be home early. I can't believe I'm doing this, I'm actually going to tell him how I feel. Sing him the song then reveal my feelings. God I'm nervous, but I don't think I can live another day without telling him I love him.'  
  
She opened her guitar case, and tuned it so it was just right, then she began to play, and sing.  
  
  
  
"And it's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
There's someone out there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe that  
  
Someone cares, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
Will you be right there  
  
Right there...."  
  
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Authors note: Ok, this is my very first time writing a fic, so how was it? Good or bad? Please review to tell me if it's even worth continuing! Thanks!  
  
Thegia51 


	2. Should Have Known

Author babble: Hello people! I don't know if you're all even going to like my story or not. Some one once told me that a writer knows a story is good when they have full confidence in it. I can't say that I have full confidence in my story, but hey, it's my very first so I guess I can't expect it to be wonderful. I hope that you get some enjoyment out of it, or at least find the plot interesting, anyway, on with the fic.  
  
Oh yeah, I don't own FF8 characters, and the songs in this fic are from Michelle Branch, Alanis Moresette, Natalie Imbruglia, LeAnne Rimes, and Monica. And during Fuu's special song, the words in ' words' are her thoughts, okay?  
  
Chapter 2: Should Have Known:  
  
  
  
Fujin sat down at her mirror, and brushed her shoulder length platinum hair so that it was parted to the side. She placed a navy blue clip on one side so that is stayed out of her vision. She then looked at her reflection reluctantly, her crimson eyes sparkling.  
  
'I'll have to go for the pretty girl look tonight' She thought to herself, placing her chin in her hand and leaning on her vanity table. "The only thing pretty about me is my eyes…" she complained, as she stared harder at her reflection. "How is an ugly girl like me ever going to get a major record deal?" She smiled grimly and walked to her small closet, pulling out a navy blue dress that Seifer and Rajin had found for her on one of their little road trips. It really wasn't her style, it was short and had tiny thin straps that showed way too much skin for comfort. But her comrades insisted that she'd look fabulous in it, and even in event of her persistent protest, she still ended up saying she'd wear it.  
  
"This is going o be a disaster…" She frowned at the skimpy garment, and walked into her bathroom to put it on.  
  
Fujin really wasn't as ugly as she thought she was. In fact, she was one of the most beautiful girls in garden. But hanging with Seifer not only gave you a scary reputation, but she was considered untouchable to all of the guys in Garden, like there was a label on her that said "PROPERTY OF SEIFER". And everyone knew that if anyone fucked with her, Seifer would fuck them up. It was just the way things were, and always had been.  
  
And Fujin was so oblivious to the situation. She never noticed that when a guy checked her out, Seifer would always glare at them, and throw his arm around her, basically saying "don't even fucking think about it". No one could really tell if her liked her, was protecting her, or if she was just his sex slave (most rumors were based on the 'sex slave' opinion). Whatever the case, Fujin had never really dated anyone. She never got asked out by anyone, which made her feel ugly.  
  
She pulled the dress on over her head, and smoothed the wrinkles out of it with her pale fingers. She bent down and picked up her navy blue shoes, which Rajin and Seifer also picked out. They were strappy, three inch tall ones, and she was afraid that she'd fall flat on her face once she stood in them.  
  
"Why are they trying to get me to be such a girlie-girl lately?" She put the death-trap shoes on, and walked around a little. Surprisingly, they weren't that bad. Not as comfortable as her good ole' combat boots, but those wouldn't look quite right with this dress.  
  
She walked out of the bathroom and stood in front of her mirror. She sighed heavily and clasped her hands together.  
  
"Well, this is as good as it gets."  
  
Suddenly, a loud knock came from the door. Fujin turned around and shook her head "God no" she said aloud, as she heard a familiar voice come through.  
  
"Hey Fuu-sama, I'm coming in, ya know!" She heard her little keypad beep twice, then there was a pause.  
  
"P-O-S-S-E, Rajin" She said impatiently, slapping her forehead with her hand. She heard a few more beeps, and the door slid open, revealing a big smiling Rajin.  
  
"Thanx Fuu! Gets me every time!" He said snapping his fingers. "Yowza! You look really pretty Fuu!" Rajin exclaimed, as his large hershey-chocolate eyes grew even wider than they usually were. "You look beautiful!" He ran up to her and trapped her in a tight bear hug before she could get away, practically squeezing the life out of her. Finally letting go of her, Fujin gasped for air "Thanks-Rajin".  
  
"Oh, before I forget!" He shoved his clumsy hand in his pocket and pulled out a little black box. "Seif n' me bought this for ya. We were gonna give it to ya after the show, but the boss wanted ya to have it before for good luck, ya know?" He placed the box in her hand and she opened it carefully, revealing a small silver locket. It was in the shape of a star, her favorite shape.  
  
"Open er' up Fuu! Seifer put a picture in it, I couldn't do it cause my hands are too big". He jumped up and down as she brought her slender fingers to the clasp. It popped open and revealed a picture of all three of them fishing on the Balamb Pier when they were younger, about ten or eleven. Rajin was standing behind Seifer and Fujin with a huge fish, and Seifer was scowling because his was two sizes smaller. Fujin was just looking at Seifer and laughing. She remembered that moment. She remembered how she'd ended up in the water after Seifer caught her laughing!  
  
Fujin chuckled a little, remembering the past. "Those were some fun times." Rajin said, smiling as he took the locket from the box and placed it around her neck. It took him a minute to get the thing hitched, but Fujin didn't say anything, after all, he was trying to be nice.  
  
"So…. Did Seif say anything about showing up tonight?" Rajin asked hesitantly, as he stepped back and admired his good job.  
  
"Well yeah… he's got a date, but he said he'd show up later". Fujin brought her hand up to close the locket.  
  
"Oh… well not to disappoint you, but I wouldn't really depend on him showin' up Fuu, you know how he is." Fujin tried to hide the hurt that the remark brought out, and smiled at her large friend.  
  
"It'll be different this time Rajin, he promised me he'd be there. I wrote a song for him and everything…." Her voice faded off, and she directed her gaze to the floor.  
  
"Well hey, maybe I'm wrong, ya know? Ya know how I always think that the worst will happen an' all…." Rajin spoke nervously. Both of them knew that he had just lied through his teeth. He was the most optimistic person in the world, and the most honest.  
  
"Oh, hey!" He exclaimed, glancing at his watch. "We've gotta get goin' or were gonna be late! It's practically 6:00, and you have to be in Deling by 6:30! Let's jet!" Rajin grabbed her small wrist with one hand, and her guitar with the other. He busted out the door, running so fast that she could barely keep up.  
  
  
  
In Dollet:  
  
"So Miss Rinoa," Seifer smiled slyly as the girl giggled at his choice of words. Sitting across him was a beautiful girl. Raven colored hair, beautiful eyes, and a smile to die for. She looked almost angelic in the dim candle lit room in the small Dollet restaurant.  
  
"Tell me a little about your life. Who are your parents?" Seifer slid his arm across the table and took her hand in his.  
  
"Well my mom's Julia Heartilly," her smile disappeared, as she looked into his eyes.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know…" Seifer immediately apologized.  
  
"Oh no, it's OK. I was just thinking about my father actually, General Caraway."  
  
"Ahh, the daughter of a talented singer and a great general. No wonder why you're so fantastic". She smiled at him and shook her head.  
  
"You're such a flatterer"  
  
"Well, I try". He brought her hand to his lips, and kissed it gently.  
  
"I have an idea… let's get outta here and go to my dads cottage… it's a little more private". She winked at him and smiled wickedly.  
  
"Private huh… say no more". Seifer stood and lead her out of the restaurant.  
  
  
  
  
  
Back at the Deling Lounge:  
  
  
  
"Yo, Sanada! You're on in one, got it!" A stage manager yelled into Fujin's dressing room. She was so nervous, she thought she was going to puke. Rajin placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  
  
"You're gonna be great Fuu-sama, you always are".  
  
She stood up and hugged him. "Thank you Rajin, for everything". She stepped back and smiled at him.  
  
"No problem, ya know! You should get ready!" He opened her guitar case and got her music compositions for her.  
  
"Oh Raj! Don't forget to keep an eye out for Seifer, all right? You know how he hates to sit alone at big events, he thinks he looks like a reject".  
  
Rajin forced a smile and handed her the guitar and music. "Sure Fuu-sama, I'll watch for him". He walked to the door and before leaving he turned to her. "No matter what Fuu, I'm proud of you, don't forget that, ya know. G' luck".  
  
She smiled at him and grabbed her locket, and waved as he left. "Thanks Rajin". She whispered, as she heard her name announced.  
  
"And now, I am pleased to present a very talented young lady. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Fujin Sanada".  
  
She marched out on stage and took the microphone from the announcer. "Thanks" she whispered as he walked off stage. Rajin was sitting in the front row waving to her exuberantly, she waved back and smiled. The stage lights were blinding, but it made her feel better because she could see fewer people. She set her music on the stand in front of her, turned her head slowly, and nodded to the band. She began to play with them. And then she sang, her sweet voice echoing throughout the room.  
  
"An old man  
  
Turned ninety-eight  
  
He won the lottery  
  
And died the next day  
  
It's a black fly  
  
In your chardonay  
  
It's a death row pardon  
  
Two minutes too late  
  
And isn't it ironic  
  
Don't ya think…"  
  
7:15  
  
"Cause your every where to me  
  
When I close my eyes  
  
It's you I see  
  
Your everything I know  
  
That makes me believe  
  
I'm not alone  
  
I'm not alone…."  
  
7:26  
  
"So I guess the fortune teller's right  
  
I should have seen just what was there  
  
And not some holy light  
  
But you crawled beneath my veins and now  
  
I don't care  
  
I have no luck  
  
I don't miss it all that much  
  
There's just so many things  
  
That I can't touch  
  
I'm torn…."  
  
7:32  
  
"Know all about  
  
Yeah about your reputation  
  
And now it's bound to be a heart brake situation  
  
But I can't help it if I'm helpless  
  
Every time I'm where  
  
You are  
  
You walk in and my strength  
  
Walks out the door  
  
Say my name and I can't fight it any more  
  
Oh I know I should go  
  
But I need your touch  
  
Just to damn much…."  
  
7:43  
  
Fujin was now sweating, and was getting a complete rush from all of the cheers she was getting. She glanced down at Rajin. No Seifer yet. He just made motions to her saying that he'd get there any second. Fujin nodded and got her mind back I the performance.  
  
"When I first saw you  
  
I already knew  
  
There was something  
  
Inside of you  
  
Something I thought that I would never find  
  
Angel of mine…."  
  
  
  
  
  
7:45: In Dollet:  
  
"MMM, Rinoa…" Seifer was situated in a cozy cabin, making out on the couch with his new brunette friend. He had his hands behind her, unzipping her white dress, while she was busy unfastening his belt. There was sweet music playing in the background. Rinoa had turned the radio on when they got there to 'set the mood'.  
  
"Hey my hip fans! That was Talina with 'Close to My Heart'. This is Davey Davidson reporting from XF 95.7. And hey if you wanna have a rocking time tonight, make your way to the Deling Lounge. Fresh and promising young talent are tearin' up the stage. There's only fifteen minutes left fans, so get off your tush, and get to the lounge".  
  
'Hmmm, why does that sound so familiar', Seifer thought, as Rinoa began kissing his neck. Suddenly his emerald eyes grew wide. "OH SHIT!". Seifer jumped off the couch and re-fastened his belt. "God I've gotta go Rinoa, I'm sorry." He snatched his trench coat off the back of the couch and ran out the door.  
  
"CALL ME!" Rinoa yelled, and fell back on the couch. "What the hell just happened?"  
  
  
  
Seifer's rented car:  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!" Seifer yelled at himself, as he jumped into his rented car. "Fuu's never gonna forgive me for this one!" Seifer started the car, and floored it out of Dollet City.  
  
  
  
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""  
  
  
  
7:56: Deling Lounge:  
  
Applause filled the room as Fujin finished her next to last song. She smiled brightly, but inside her heart was breaking. Rajin still sat alone. She looked down at him, and gave him a sad smile. Rajin just smiled back, and then diverted his eyes from her.  
  
"Thank you, thank you every one! You've been such a great audience! This is may last song of the night, it's called 'Leap Of Faith'. I just recently finished it. I wrote it for a special friend…" She paused to catch her breath and regain her composure. "Who um… couldn't quite make it here tonight. Anyway… I hope you enjoy it".  
  
She nodded to the band as a tear slid down her cheek. They began to play and Fujin along with them.  
  
"One less call to answer  
  
Feeling full of despair  
  
Don't think I can get through it  
  
Just one last prayer  
  
And it's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
There's someone out there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe that  
  
Someone cares, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
Will you be right there  
  
Right there…"  
  
'He's not here…'  
  
"Searching for the answer  
  
Nobody seems to care  
  
Oh how I wish that  
  
You were here  
  
Beside me  
  
To wipe away my tears…"  
  
'He's not beside me, never will be'  
  
"And it's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
There's someone out there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
That someone cares, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
Will you be right there  
  
Right there…"  
  
'I thought you cared'  
  
"Waiting for the answer  
  
Remembering times  
  
We would share  
  
Somehow I feel  
  
You here beside me  
  
Even though you're not there…"  
  
'After all we've shared, shoulda known…'  
  
"And it's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe there's  
  
Someone out there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe that  
  
Someone cares, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
Will you be right there…"  
  
1 'Shouldn't have had faith in you…'  
  
"Right there  
  
And I'll be waiting  
  
By the window for  
  
Your smile to come through  
  
And I'll be waiting  
  
In the darkness when  
  
I call out to you  
  
And I'll remember  
  
When you told me  
  
I could trust in you…"  
  
2 'Shouldn't have trusted you, I should stop waiting…'  
  
"And it's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
There's someone out there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
When you believe  
  
That someone cares, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
Will you be right there  
  
It's a leap of faith  
  
And I believe that  
  
You are out there  
  
It's a leap of faith and  
  
I believe you truly care, oh  
  
And when I call out to you  
  
I know you'll be right there  
  
Right there  
  
And it's a leap of faith…"  
  
'Should've never had faith in a man like you.'  
  
'Should've never believed you.'  
  
'Shouldn't have fallen in love with you…'  
  
As the song ended, Fujin's ears flooded with applause, like she was already a star. "Good night every one". She smiled and bowed gracefully. She gathered her music and her guitar, and walked boldly off stage to her dressing room.  
  
Once inside, she lost all dignity, and fell to the floor in uncontrollable sobs. Tears streamed down her face. She pounded the floor with her small fists, cracking one of her white knuckles, letting a crimson liquid seep its way onto the floor. Fujin watched is, like it was a tear of blood straight from her heart.  
  
"Fuu? C'n I come in?" Rajin tapped on lightly on the door. Fujin stood quickly, and wiping the tears off of her face. "Um yeah, sure." The door creaked open slowly, and appeared an apologetic looking Rajin. Fujin placed her guitar in its case, and put her music in with it. She closed the case slowly, and stared off into space.  
  
"Ya know Fuu, maybe he had car trouble or somethin'… or maybe-"  
  
"Rajin don't." He was cut off be Fujin's wavering voice. "No excuses, not this time, OK?" He looked to the floor and stood perfectly still (quite a big accomplishment for Rajin, under any other circumstances). "Lets go. If the scouts want me, they can call me. I just wanna go home".  
  
"All right, lets go". He grabbed her guitar case, and they walked out of the building.  
  
  
  
Seifer's Car:  
  
8:12  
  
"Shit!" Seifer wasn't even halfway to Deling, and it was already practically fifteen minutes after the show ended.  
  
"May as well return the car and catch the train" He turned the car around, back to Dollet.  
  
"What am I going to do?"  
  
  
  
Balamb Garden:  
  
Rajin walked Fujin to her dorm room, the kind friend that he was, he didn't want her to feel lonely. She opened her door, and took her guitar from Rajin.  
  
"Thanks buddy" She smiled grimly, and patted his arm.  
  
"You sure you don't want me to stay with you? I can hang with you for a while, its no problem, ya know?"  
  
"It's all right Rajin, I'm going to blow off some steam at the training center" She forked her fingers though her hair, and sighed.  
  
"OK, well if you change your mind, ya know where ta find me. See ya later!"  
  
"Bye Rajin" She began to close the door.  
  
"Oh, Fuu! Wait a sec!" He turned around to face her. "If Seif stops by, and asks where ya are, should I tell him?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. We'll have it out eventually any way, so why not tonight, right?" She chuckled a little, trying to appear happier.  
  
"Right! See ya!" Rajin smiled, and walked away.  
  
Fujin turned and went to change so she could go to the training center. Curfew was at twelve, and it was only nine thirty, so she has two and a half-hours to kill everything in sight.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rajin's Room:  
  
Seifer walked to Rajin's dorm room. He didn't quite dare to barge in like he always does, so he knocked loudly, hoping he wasn't in bed. Then again, it was eleven o'clock, and Rajin was most likely in bed. But much to Seifer's surprise, Rajin came to the door promptly.  
  
"Hey man…" Seifer said sheepishly, as he stepped inside  
  
"Hey…" They both stood silent for a minute, avoiding looking at each other.  
  
"Ya know man… she's not here…" Rajin blurted out finally. "She's in the training center. Ya should really go talk to her. I don't think I've ever seen her this upset, ya know?" Seifer just stood with his arms crossed. "An' don't wait around here till' I tell you that it'll be all right, 'cause I ain't sure this time." Seifer looked up at him, his emerald eyes questioning his comments  
  
"How do you know this times different, huh?" Seifer said, with a tinge of impatience.  
  
"Cause man, she looked horrible. Like some one had ripped her heart out n' stepped on it. I guess you would've had to be there to understand man. But wait a minute, maybe if ya were there, it wouldn't have happened!"  
  
Rajin rarely raised his voice, but Seifer had made him so mad.  
  
"Why the hell does she love ya so much! Other people would treat her better! Other people are there for 'er! Other people care for her like she cares for you! But she still waits for ya, and waits for ya. You won't even give 'er any of you're time!  
  
She's to good for that, and ya know it!"  
  
Rajin cracked his knuckles, his face began to get red.  
  
"And the sad part man, it that she can't see any one else. She can only see you. And then ya go and pull crap like this!" He calmed himself, and scratched the back of his neck with his large hand.  
  
"Sorry…" He apologized to Seifer, who was also beginning to look horrible. "Anyway, go see her, talkin' to me ain't gonna help anything".  
  
"Yeah, OK man…and hey…I didn't know you felt that way Rajin, really." And just before Rajin shut the door, Seifer spoke again.  
  
"You know I didn't mean to? Don't you Rajin?" Seifer questioned him, almost pleading for a comforting answer.  
  
"Ya never do Seif…. ya never do". Rajin slowly closed to door on him. He thought talking to Rajin would help him, but now he felt worse. 'Guess I deserve to feel worse'. He slowly made his way to the training center.  
  
'Why do I always do these things? Why do I always screw up? Why do I always hurt her? I won't be surprised if she tells me she never wants to see me again, but god I hope that she doesn't dismiss me that easily. I've been trying to get over her, that's why I've been like this. But maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe I'm supposed to obsess over her until the day I die. Maybe she really does feel the same as I do, or maybe she did any way. I've probably ruined any chance I had with her now…"  
  
Seifer entered the training center, and walked down the long corridor to the main entrance. He looked around and observed that there were several dead monsters there. 'Fuu's on a role, hope I'm not the next one to go.' He began to walk around and search for her. 'Glad I grabbed Hyperion before I went to Rajin's room' he thought, as he glanced around the dead quite training center. He walked up the abandoned path that lead to the secret area. He glanced around the room 'No sign of Fujin'. He looked to the ground, and saw a object glowing in some tall grass. He bent down and picked it up, recognizing the small object.  
  
"Fujin's locket…" He whispered, as he shoved it in his pocket, and began to search frantically.  
  
"FUJIN!!" He yelled throughout the training center, and then stood silent, waiting for a reply.  
  
No answer.  
  
He yelled her name again as panic flushed through his veins. And this time he did hear a sound. A noise that sent chills down his spine. The low growling of a T-Rexaur.  
  
"God no!"  
  
He ran with all of his might to find the source of the noise. Jumping over all of the dead monsters, and some live ones in his path. Then, he reached the secret area, and just beyond he saw her. He saw the giant monsters blade-like tail crash across her small pale figure, slashing her face and neck, sending her flying into a nearby patch of grass. Crimson blood poured all over their battle arena, spreading like a fire in a dry field. The large creature approached her quivering body again, this time to end her life. But it was stopped when Seifer jumped in between them, wielding Hyperion. The T-Rexaur tried to clench its teeth on Seifer, but he jumped back, allowing the creature to only graze his abdomen. Then, Seifer's body began to burn with energy. His eyes were filled with a terrifying glow, and the area around him became engulfed in fire. He had never had this happen before, but wasn't really on hid mind to stop it. 'Save Fujin' was all that was in his head. He slammed Hyperion into the ground, causing the earth to split, and fire to engulf the monster, killing it instantly. Bones and flesh fell to the ground in ashes, as Seifer fell to one knee, completely drained.  
  
"Fujin!" He yelled, as he forced himself up and ran to her. She was barely conscious. Her face was covered with blood, and her neck had a deep gash on it. Seifer ripped off his trench coat, and pressed one of its sleeves against the cut.  
  
"Sei…" She began to speak, but couldn't finish  
  
"Shh, don't". He placed a hand on her head. He could see tears flowing out of her eye. "It's gonna be okay Fuu." He cupped her face with his hand, and she passed out. He lifted her small body and he ran to doctor Kawodaki's office, leaving a trail of blood behind him.  
  
  
  
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Well what do you think? Kind of long… at least kind of long to write. Please review if you want more. Thanks for reading!  
  
Thegia51 


	3. Nightmares to Dreams

A/N: I do not own any FF8 characters  
  
I'm writing this really late at night, it's about 11:30 right now, so beware. It is also pure mush, so if you not into crappy romance then don't bother reading ( Please review!  
  
  
  
A golden body tossed and turned under thin white sheets. The wan moonlight shown in through the curtains of the tiny hotel room, making droplets of sweat visible on the poor dreaming soul. He groaned in his sleep, speaking into the black of night.  
  
"Fujin, no..." He whispered quietly, as his handsome face turned to a deep frown, drawing his eyebrows together.  
  
'She will never be able to see out of her eye again'  
  
'What about her voice Kadowaki? If she can't sing any more, she'll be heart broken. Just give it to me straight'  
  
'Well, from what I can tell, there was minimal damage to her vocal chords, but it's just so hard to tell if they will ever be able to work properly. It's fifty-fifty at this point. I'm sorry Seifer..I just don't have the answers right now. We'll check her progress in a few weeks, I just hope she isn't permanently mute.'  
  
Then he fell through a dark tunnel, with images of this haunting occurrence surrounding him. He could see, hear, and smell everything, as if it happened all over again. The blood all over her body, the sound of her heart monitor in the hospital room beeping faintly. The look on her face when she woke up in the white room, like a lost and scared child. He saw every broken mirror, every lost message on her answering machine from all of the scout's calls. He saw her lying in a pool of blood with slit wrists, chanting so hauntingly "ugly" over and over until it pierced his heart like a sword. Then, he saw her in Lunatic Pandora standing before him like a platinum angel, speaking words he thought were long gone. He remembered how his heart skipped a beat, and the world stopped spinning for one brief moment. He saw her slip back into state of despair when Rajin committed suicide, slitting her wrists one last time before he told her he would kill himself if she died.  
  
He sat up swiftly in bed, and brushed a few tears and drops of sweat off of his cheeks. 'Crying?' He thought to himself, as his quickened breath began to regain its normal status. Seifer Almasy never cried, in fact, the last time he remembered crying was when Fujin lost her eye. He had cried for three nights straight about that, but he didn't shed a single tear when Rajin died. Funny how after seeing so much pain and despair, death has no effect on you, even if it's your best friend that dies. He brushed them away, almost as if they had never existed, he would never acknowledge the fact that they did.  
  
His emerald eyes scanned the small hotel room. It wasn't very extravagant, but hell it was Winhill, what more could you expect? It was just a living room and a bathroom, two beds, a couch, and small electric stove sat out in the open. It didn't cost much, so he didn't complain. Fujin on the other hand, looked upon it dismissively, her dainty mouth twisting into a grimace "ALL COULD FIND?" That comment hurt, they were kicked out of Garden of course, and had been living in the homeless shelter in Deling. He had searched for a place for months with no help at all from her, and all she could say was "ALL COULD FIND"? Yeah, thanks Fuu. His gaze came to rest on the small figure in the bed adjacent him. "Fujin" he whispered softly, his voice low and husky from his not so peaceful sleep. He pushed his muscular body out of bed, and walked over to her. To this day, he still checks on her at night, no matter what has happened, or how hectic his life has gotten, he will never be able to leave her side. A knight to the end, loyal and true to his love. His love? Only in his mind, she never showed the same affection towards him after that night. He never really expected her to either.  
  
Seifer neared her bed, and knelt down on his knees. He placed his calloused hand on her forehead, and brushed wisps of platinum off of her ivory skin, just like he used to. Except now, he would never dare to do it when she was awake. He moved his hand to hers, and maneuvered her arm so her wrist was visible. Ashen fingers traced lines of scars that brought so much sadness to his heart. This was what he was mainly concerned about when he came to her at night, to see if those wrists were excreting blood. He slowly let her right arm go, and then checked her left, out of reflex. Nothing was there as usual, but something still drove him to check again. Call it obsessive compulsive, or whatever you like, he just needed the assurance that she would be all right.  
  
He sighed heavily, and let his gaze rest on her face. Her features had been so cold looking lately, even when she was asleep. He hadn't seen her crack a smile in months; then again, he hadn't smiled in months either. Demoralization had a great effect on them. He leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. 'This brings back memories..' She shivered slightly under his touch, like such a thing disgusted her body. Even in her sleep she hated him, at least that's what he thought.  
  
'You're such an idiot Almasy. She'll never love you again. Who would? Pathetic scum, not even bubbly Rinoa Heartilly who loves everyone could love you' He studied Fujin's chiseled features more carefully, her soft cheeks, and slender body. Who couldn't love her? She was the model of human perfection, minus the horrible scar that he felt so responsible for. 'Hyne she's beautiful. Even with that scar she still takes my breath away.' He actually had never seen that scar before. She kept it covered with her black eye patch, a shield to hide from the world behind.  
  
He didn't quite know what had come over him, but he suddenly felt the urge to remove that thing. That tiny piece of cloth that he loathed, because it got to see that mark whenever it wanted. 'Jealous of an eye patch, that's a new development.' He stared at it hesitantly, contemplating if he should take the time to trouble himself. She'd probably roll over subconsciously, or even worse, wake up. What would he say if that happened? Questions flooded his brain, until he didn't understand them any more. He raised his hand to her face, and gently worked his fingers under the black material, pulling it off quickly and easily. She didn't even flinch. He sighed, this time nervously, as his eyes stared in awe. Pink flesh surrounded the area where her eye should be, or actually was. There was definite scarring around the area, a line straight across her lid, but from the roundness and shape, he could tell her eye was still there. 'I wonder what it looks like? Is it actually there? Can she see out of it? Why would she lie all of these years about it if she could?' He shook his head and tried to get the thought out of his mind. He focused on the scar, and could actually tell where the sharp scales on the monsters tail had slashed her silky flesh.  
  
He brought his lips to that flesh, and kissed the area gently, not even thinking about what would happen if she should wake. At that moment he didn't really care if she did, he imagined himself whispering comforts into her ear, and telling her everything his soul had been hiding for so long. His heart ached when he pulled away, because she hadn't wakened, and he wanted to tell her. He stayed a few moments longer, but soon sauntered back to his own lonely bed, which he would gladly share with her if only she wanted him.  
  
He covered himself back up with his sheets, and lay down on his pillow, resting his arms behind his head. He thought about that night again, until the guilt, pain, and despair washed over him, and engulfed him in his haunted sleep.  
  
Pain, blood, sweat, and tears. Failure, dishonor and shame. Sadness, cruelty, and lost ambitions and dreams. Seifer's night was filled with terror unimaginable to the human mind. He fell yet again into the chasm of horrors that were his life, and all of the horrors he thought were coming. The endless void seemed like it would never cease. But a voice called out to him, for the first time ever, some one was there.  
  
"Seifer!" It came once, strong and bold, like a gallant savior, then, it sounded more urgent and scared "Seifer!", then, it became a harsh whisper "Seif.." It sounded so familiar, and it was pulling him out of his dream world. His emerald eyes snapped open in alertness, and his body jumped a little. He felt some thing warm brush his face, and then fly back meekly.  
  
"SEIFER?" It was none other than Fujin, his pale comrade, who had saved him. "OK? THOUGHT WERE DEAD." He looked up at her hesitantly, noticing that her eye patch was back on. Her hand came back and feverishly wiped the sweat from his face "Seif?" She was speaking in normal tone now, she must be worried. "What happened? What's wrong?" She sounded so concerned, like nothing else in the world mattered at that moment but him. His body yearned to hold her, and over ran his mind, which was telling him not to. He sat up and gathered her fragile frame in his arms, pulling her so close that her head rested on his shoulder. She was a little taken aback by this gesture but was so confused she didn't protest, she just sat quietly and cuddled closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. 'If only I had been there when you needed me. If only I had been there. You wouldn't be put through so much pain. Would you love me if I had been there? Hyne Fuu I'm sorry!' His eyes began to water, and his mind couldn't stop them.  
  
And then he began to cry. Silent sobs soon became audible, as salty tears poured from his green orbs. He began to shake furiously, and tightened his grip around her. She raised her lips to his ear and whispered softly "Shhh..it's ok. You're all right Seifer, I'm here now, don't cry..." He felt soft fingers run through the hair on the back of his neck, and velvety lips kiss his cheek. He raised a large hand to her head, and pulled her closer to his chest, so close she could hear his heart beat. They stayed like this for a few minutes, until his sobs were no longer present. He shifted awkwardly, feeling like such a moron for being so vulnerable in front of her. She sat up and scooted away a little, so she could look into his eyes. "What happened? More nightmares?" Fujin questioned, her eyes understanding his embarrassment.  
  
"How'd you know about.?" Then he realized why she must have woke him up. Was he screaming like he did in his dreams?  
  
"I can hear you. Every night I hear you, but not so bad as this..I...ummm..well, what are they about? Maybe I can help you." A small smile came to the corners of her lips, as she brought a hand up to his face and brushed a few bangs out of his view. He brought his hand to hers absentmindedly, and looked into her one visible eye. "You". She nodded, almost disappointedly, and looked down to the floor. "Me? I'm causing this?" Seifer brought his hand to her face, and turned her head towards him.  
  
"No not really. It's mostly me being afraid for you more than anything..." His voice grew quiet with embarrassment. It wasn't that often that Seifer Almasy shared such personal thoughts with any one, especially Fujin. She nodded, telling him to continue. He coughed a little, clearing his throat.  
  
"Well, it's about that night." He paused and brought his hand over so his thumb was resting on her eye patch. "About this." She flinched at the sudden touch, but she didn't brush him away like he thought she would. He continued telling about his dream.  
  
"I just keep on seeing you there, lying in a pool of blood. And I get that horrible feeling deep inside, that one where everything around you feels like is falling. And then I do fall, and I see every thing bad that has happened to you that I've caused, including that night, over and over." His voice grows quiet again and he gasps for air again, trying to hold back more tears. "I'm so sorry Fuu, for everything that I've done to you, especially that night."  
  
She watches him as his shoulders start to shake, and his eyes gloss over. She moves back in closer to him, and wraps her arms around him once more. He maneuvers his arms around her waist, and shudders as she breathes heavily on his neck.  
  
"Seifer, listen to me. It wasn't your fault that I went to the training center. I was being a reckless child. You couldn't help it if you tried, I can't believe you don't know that by now."  
  
"But Fuu, if I hadn't been so stupid and went to you big night, you wouldn't have been mad, and-"  
  
"Shh! Seifer, stop it! It doesn't matter, you couldn't control what that T- Rexaur was going to do. It was fate Seifer; it was going to happen whether it was then or now. Everything happens because it is supposed to happen, the good and the bad. It makes people like you and me stronger. People who have had nothing but each other all of their lives."  
  
"Even Rajin's death?" He questioned. He knew she could never say that was supposed to happen. That their comrade was supposed to die so young. She grew quiet, and Seifer could feel something wet growing on his chest.  
  
"Oh jeez Fuu, I'm sorry..Hyne I'm such a fucking idiot!" He backed away from her so he could look into her eye. "I'm Sorry Fuu, really. I'm sorry for everything.". His rough hands; calloused from hundreds of battles and fistfights cupped her face. He stared into her beautiful crimson eye, and then looked to her eye patch, as if asking for clearance. She didn't move, or make a sound. She just watched him eye her nervously. She could feel his fingers trespassing on territory that no one had touched. They played under that black material covering her eye, and tugged at it, trying to remove it from it's resting place. Her hand shot up immediately, silently protesting the breech.  
  
He just looked into her crimson orb, trying to reassure her that it would be okay. She closed her eye as his fingers worked the patch off of her pallid face. He removed it fully, and traced the scars that had been haunting him timidly. He swallowed hard and cupped her face again. "Open you eyes Fuu, please. Open your eyes." He pleaded to her, his voiced sounded so gentle. She opened her good eye a crack first, to see him waiting expectantly. She opened them slowly and looked away form him, like he was going to be disgusted with her appearance. Seifer looked down upon her, in utter shock. Underneath that dismal black patch, was a crystal blue orb, surrounded by a desert of scars. He turned her gaze back to him, and smiled when they made eye contact.  
  
"Beautiful Fuu. You're beautiful. You shouldn't keep that covered up." She closed her eyes again, but only to feel a soft touch come to her forehead, he had kissed her. Not much of a kiss, just a tiny peck on the head, but it made her heart stop. Seifer cupped her face and kissed her again, tracing the scars along her eye with his lips, feeling her vulnerable flesh under him. He pulled away for a brief moment, and she opened her eyes again, in disbelief. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close so their noses were only centimeters apart. He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered softly.  
  
"Fuu, I love you more than anything. I've been wanting to tell you for so long now, I just..I just got scared I guess." He paused when he felt ivory fingers touch his cheekbone  
  
"I love you too Seifer, I always have." She smiled hesitantly, not quite sure what to do next. Seifer smiled too, and pressed his lips to hers gently. They broke apart after a second or so, and then he kissed her more passionately, like it would be the last kiss that they would ever share, except it was their first. They broke apart once more, breathing heavily. Seifer pulled her back onto the bad with him, and gathered her into his arms. After a while, the sounds of each others breathing was like that of a lullaby, and soon, both were fast asleep. A/N Ok, ok, I know it sucked, but I wrote it late at night and I don't feel like revising it before I post it. I'm pretty sure I'm writing another chapter, I hope it will be better ( 


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